March 2, 2002
Transcribed by Frogmella for The One Ring.net Forum Board

Transcript of Orlando Bloom’s interview on So Graham Norton on Fri 1st March on Channel 4.
Graham Norton is a camp Irish presenter; very sharp and given to innuendo.

Graham Norton dons huge grey beard, turns on the dry ice and does a few ring and crack of doom gags, with Cybill Shepard still seated after a previous interview.

GN: But lo! Lo, see Leggie, Leggie….Lassie……the blonde one with the arrows! Orlando Bloom!
OB enters, looking surprisingly tasteful in jeans, pale shirt and black leather jacket.
(CS eyes him lustfully)
GN: Cybil’s a bit..
(OB grins, then pretends to look scared)
CS: Don’t be scared!
GN: Cause look at you- you’re it now!
OB: Am I? (looks bashful)
GN: Well, obviously, Orlando Bloom, we knew who you were blah blah. But now- you’re the new Leonardo Dicaprio!
OB: Leonardo Dicaprio?! (doesn’t look impressed)
GN: Seriously, you know, how many emails we put an email search- an internet search- on your name- 2900 results!
OB: No! (laughs)
GN: Yes! 5900 joining fan clubs for you. I mean, is that weird?
OB: Yes, that is weird, especially since I’m a technophobe- I don’t even have an email address. I don’t have a computer. I just haven’t seen any of it.
GN: Just as well. I have.
OB: Oh, great!
GN: Is it now, are women kind of throwing themselves at you?
OB: Well, not really, I have long blonde hair in the movie (points helpfully at short dark hair) and I don’t think people recognise me.
CS: I didn’t.
GN: Well, no, it is weird, you do look so different (holds up magazine cover shot of Legolas) he’s that one- did you have to look like that, is that how Leggie….Lou Lou looks like in the book?
OB: Yeah he’s just kind of Leggie Lou Lou ….(dissolves into laughter)
GN: What’s his name?
OB: Doesn’t matter, Leggie Lou Lou works great.
GN: I knew you weren’t a blonde (mutters)
OB: Pointy eared bow twanger works too…
GN: You started off as a kind of normal actor- Guildhall, you’ve got all the regular things..
OB: National Youth Theatre…
GN & OB: Casualty..
GN: London’s Burning…
OB: No..
GN: You didn’t do London’s Burning? You haven’t lived! But you did do Midsomer Murders?
OB: Yeah, actually I got that gig straight out, and I got LOTR and the very next day I walked into that audition and said “I’ve got LOTR!” and they said “do you want to do Midsomer Murders?” and I was like “yeah, ok…”
GN: Did you die?
OB: Yeah!! God, terribly, I died really badly, I got a pitchfork in the stomach (does impression of OTT drama school death scene) and did this awful death thing; it was terrible.
CS: What is this show?
GN: Midsomer Murders [TV murder mystery series set in Olde Englishe village]
CS: Where is that?
GN: It’s this village that has a murder rate higher than New York.
CS: Well the murder rate here in London is higher than New York.
GN: Really?
CS: Yes, that’s what they said on CNN.
GN: Oh, well. American station. They would.
GN: Another thing, very exciting. You’ve got into merchandising, here you are (brings out boxed Legolas doll)
CS: My god, you’re a doll!
OB: I’m a doll, isn’t that great, I’m a doll!
OB: (watches GN unwrap doll)He’s only asking cause he wants me to play with myself, don’t you?
GN: Do you know, it hadn’t crossed my mind? (expression of mock shock)
OB: Isn’t that great, my kid’s gonna play with my doll!
CS: Do you have a kid?
OB: No! (looks horrified)
GN: Not yet, Cybil (gives her a knowing look)
GN: Apparently, if you do that…(Legolas doll jerks its arm robotically)
Audience: oooooooh!
OB: You got a bit over excited..
GN: You can fire arrows!
OB: I’ve tried it (takes doll and helps GN fit arrow to bow)
GN: That’s so sweet! You know how to play with your own toy…
OB: I know.. (flicks arrow from toy)
(CS takes doll)
GN: Be nice ooooh look!
(CS puts doll down cleavage)
GN: Sorry, being distracted by what Cybil’s doing to you…
(CS has Legolas doll with jerking arm between her cleavage)
OB: I love it! Have you got a picture of that- that’s fantastic!
GN: What are you up to- what are you doing next?
OB: I’m doing a film in Australia with Heath Ledger
GN: Oooooh! From A Knight’s Tale?
OB: Yeah- the guy from A Knight’s Tale. It’s called Ned Kelly, he’s playing Ned Kelly and I’m playing one of his best mates; a bit of a ladies man, gonna be an Irish accent…
GN: Any help with the accent…
OB: Yes!
GN: Do you suppose they’ll put Heath Ledger in a big bucket?

Too difficult to put into words the rest of the show; Orlando didn’t say anything more anyway.

He came across as very good humoured and up for a laugh; fame doesn’t seem to have gone to his head too much.