January 25, 2002
Transcribed by Amanda

[action]

speaker emphasized this

The Big Schmooze is a program on The Comedy Channel on Australian Foxtel – which I've never seen, but they were showing this featurelette between other programs. It starts as Matthew Hardy (host) introduces the Big Schmooze LOTR feature.

[LOTR clip from Prancing Pony with Frodo & Strider]

Matthew Hardy sitting opposite Elijah Wood, Dominic Monaghan & Billy Boyd.

Matthew: Your character {points at Elijah and Elijah straightens up suddenly in shock} Frodo -

Elijah: What have I done?

Matthew: - caused a bit of a ruckus in the first pub that you three went drinking at –

Elijah: {snort/laugh}

Matthew: - {speaking to Dominic & Billy} - and you were very tolerant, your two characters, so I wondered… if you had a real mate who was causing so much trouble on a regular basis wouldn't you, like, grab a hold of him and tell him to put his head in?

Billy: No, because that's like Dom in real life

Elijah: {leaning across Dominic to wiggle finger at Billy} I think he – wasn't he – causing the trouble though, 'cause he mentioned my name: Baggins.

Dominic: {coughs and starts laughing at the same time}

Matthew: He did, yeah!

Elijah: 'Cause he… He caused the trouble. Don't blame it on Frodo.

Dominic: {with a strangely hoarse/sexy voice (he might be recovering from the cough } We had… we had a couple of, we had a couple of ...err, you know… hardcore nights in New Zealand. The kinda group of us all went out. Ye know, 'cause if you work hard and then you have one day off a week… every so often, everyone would just be like {puts on even more hoarse voice} 'C'mon we're gonna go to the pub!'

Billy: Especially the stuntmen!

Dominic: Yeah!

Billy: Never drink with a stuntman…

Dominic: So you're out with the stuntment, so you're out with 25 of the hardest guys in the world and they're buying you drinks and you just feel invincible. And Elijah and I climbed the Bucket fountain thing in Marlington(?) and we were right at the top and, umm, being all nasty and silly. And then we told Pete the next day and he wasn't happy, was he?

Elijah: {muffling his laughter} No I think he shed a tear.

Dominic: He was like 'That's part of my childhood!'…

Matthew: Are we going to see this in 'The Making of Lord of the Rings'?

Dominic: {still going with his Peter Jackson impersonation} …shouldn't be climbing that!

Elijah: We conquered it.

Dominic: No, it wasn't filmed.

Elijah: {laughing} We should do it on the DVD!

Billy: Or maybe it was filmed… {raises eyebrows knowingly}

[LOTR clip from Bagend – Gandalf interprets the ring's inscription, sounding like he says: "…one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bite them."]

Interviewer is now sitting with Hugo Weaving.

Matthew: How are you mate? {shaking hands}

Hugo: Good, I'm well!

Matthew: {run on} Pleased to meet you. Fantastic role in the film. Now, you were Douglas Jardine in 'Body Loan' on tv.

Hugo: Correct.

Matthew: Then you were a blind bloke in 'Proof'.

Hugo : Uh-mmph {affirmatively}

Matthew: Then you were a bad dude in 'The Matrix' and now you're playing an elf!

Hugo: That's right

Matthew: Plus you've been a drag-queen, in 'Priscilla'. Is there a role, in all honesty, is there a role that you would think 'I can't do that.'?

Hugo: I can't do that?

Matthew: Yeah.

Hugo: I couldn't play a hobbit.

Matthew: Because?

Hugo: They're much too small.

Matthew: But don't they use height tricks nowadays?

Hugo: No, they really were 3 foot 6.

Matthew: So there's no actual role you've been offered that you've thought, 'That's beyond me'?

Hugo: *thinking* Uhh... no... but I'm sure there are a million roles… but I think as you get older you kinda think 'Oh, I don't think I'll go there,' but the challenge is to go 'But I should!' {smiles}

Matthew: Now, do you think the hair cut that you wore, the classic mullet, would pick up the chicks? Did you go out and about on the town-

Hugo: It didn't work.

Matthew: - in New Zealand?

Hugo: It didn't work at all.

Matthew: No action?

Hugo: No…

Matthew: How much do you feature in the two sequels to come?

Hugo: I pop into 2 and 3, but I'm not quite sure at this stage whether… Cause they haven't been sort of put together exactly yet, so we'll see - I might have to do a bit of reshooting.

[LOTR clip: Boromir on Caradhras picks up the ring]

Back to… Interviewer is now with Orlando Bloom. Orlando's wearing some pinky-red shirt and slouching all over his chair.

Matthew: River and Joaquin Phoenix, fellas, we know were named through the media stories, because their parents were classically flower power types.

Bloom: {looks like he's gnawing at the nail on his pinkie} Right. {keeps gnawing}

Matthew: I wondered with the… Orlando Bloom… very cool name.

Bloom: Thanks {grinning}

Matthew: It sounds like something you might order to smoke from a suspicious café in Amsterdam.

Bloom: {laughing} Yeah! That's interesting isn't it? Yeah, you can smoke me!

(transcripter pauses to consider that comment)

Uhh, no. I umm… I don't have a particularly flower power mother… umm, or father. But rather eccentric perhaps. {bending over to scratch his knee}

Matthew: But is there like literary origins to the name?

Bloom: Uh, yeah there is. Yeah, I mean, it's Shakespearean. {said half mumbly} It's part of Orlando Gibbons (?) and stuff. It's been around, yeah.

[LOTR clip of hobbits running from Nasgul for Buckleberry Ferry]

Back to… interviewer sitting with Director Peter Jackson.

Matthew: During the filming of 'Lord of the Rings' was there a particular point in which, y'know, the labour took a back seat and you actually realized yourself 'How much fun is this?!' ?

Jackson: Well I've always wanted to make films ever since I was a kid, nine or ten years old, I've dreamt of making films as a career and I've managed to be able to do that, so I've always thought that no matter how hard it is, it's what I love doing. And I've always, any time we got stressed, anytime I was tired or feeling grumpy I'd just say to myself 'Hang on, this is 'Lord of the Rings' {smiling in a very hobbity way} You're doing what you've always dreamt about doing!' and I'd immediately just snap out of it.

Matthew: In hindsight, were there any particular films that did inspire you, to this day?

Jackson: Yeah, I've always loved fantasy adventure movies and that started with 'King Kong', the original old 1933 'King Kong' and then I loved Harry Howsen's films when I was teenager. They were like 'Jason and the Argonauts' and 'Voyage of Sinbad'. He was a stop-motion animator – did a lot of monsters. And I always thought making one of those really great fantasy-monster movies with castles and battles and dragons, and that whole thing really appealed to me. That was definitely the beginning of an ambition that I had to do something like this. I never dreamt it would be 'Lord of the Rings' though, I always thought that we'd probably write an original story.

[LOTR clip: "I wish the ring had never come to me." in Moria scene]

Back to… the interviewer's with Elijah Wood only now.

Elijah: So is this for the Comedy Channel?!

Matthew: {confirming} For the Comedy Channel.

Elijah: Wicked! Are you supposed to be funny?

Matthew: Uhh… No.

Elijah: Oh okay.

Matthew: Yeah. But if I am it's a bonus. Now, do you fear being followed by nerds at sci-fi conventions for the rest of your life?

Elijah: Well, that is if I go to them – if I go to the sci-fi conventions. But I actually went to a comic convention earlier this year, and I thought I could just go. Naively, I thought, I'll just go and see some friends, some people from WETA digital, uhh… WETA effects were there. So I went and visited them and you know, it wasn't easy. In fact every time I stopped I got surrounded by a group of 'Lord of the Rings' fans. Which was quite cool.

Matthew: Where was William Shatner?

Elijah: He wasn't there actually. {pauses} I would never set foot in a Star Trek convention, now that scares me to no end.

Matthew: Can we expect Elijah Wood, now that he's a major movie star, to –

Elijah: {half laughing, half pained} I'm not - I'm not a massive movie star – don't say that, please!

Matthew: You may be a massive movie star. If that happens, will you slip into drink, drugs and debauchery?

Elijah: {smiles and shakes head} No. {laughs}

Matthew: Why not, man?!

Elijah: Oh, cause it's terribly boring!

Matthew: Is it?

Elijah: Yeah.

Matthew: What about all the chicks?

Elijah: Uhh… If that's how you get chicks… then I'm going to be useless.

Matthew: Please, pass some of that stardom on to me. I'll use it on your behalf. {leans over and shakes hands}

Elijah: All right mate.

Matthew: Thank you very much!

Elijah: You're welcome.

Matthew: Elijah Wood. Comedy Channel.

Elijah: {to camera} Keep laughing Comedy Channel.

Matthew: Any chance of you saying "Matthew Hardy Rocks! I know because he said so."?

Elijah: Matthew Hardy Rocks! I know because he… frickin said so!

End.